amruniel: (Default)
In a stunning turn of events, you all find myself still alive and kicking ;)

I know, it must have seemed as if the earth has opened up and swallowed me up without any warning, and for that I'm really sorry. I want to apologize particularly to those of you who worried about me, sent me PMs, etc.! Mea culpa!

For those of you happy to know I'm still here and not interested in anything more, I'd suggest to stop reading here now and go on to do something you'd rather do :)

For everyone else - here's a (short and inadequate) explanation:

As you might remember, my last post was on June 20th, where I (probably drunk on some celebratory birthday bubbly) stated I was hopeful to manage to keep on writing halfway regularly despite the exam looming...
...well, no.
Turned out, there was WAY more material to study than I had anticipated. As in TONS more. That woman drove me crazy over the course of the semester, but she really, really hit rock bottom in my favours during those last 10 days of June.
So, I more or less spent the remainder of the month non-stop studying, with the occasional break for food or sleep.
I somehow managed to actually got summing up the material done the night before the exam, with less than 24 hours of "real" study time on my hands. Despite that, the exam went rather well after all (having the first look at the questions my the prof went up a notch in my favours again, let me tell you ;) ).

Riding on a high after having finished the semester FINALLY, I actually did fire up the computer shortly before midnight on the 30th and created a cabin at CampNaNo for me. I really was all psyched up about tackling another month of writing and possibly even get the whole fic as close to finished as possible.

Fast forward to the next day and I found myself in the situation to really, really, really have no energy left to do anything, least of all to make myself turn on the computer and tackle Day 1 of CampNaNo. I, for the first time in months and months, couldn't make myself even THINK about the fic. I was too tired, too wrung out.

If I have learned any lesson those past years, then to listen to my body and my mind when they tell me it's too much. So, for once, I did the sensible thing and decided to give myself the weekend off and start tackling the writing a couple days late.

On Monday, I honestly didn't feel much better about writing. I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea to go back to the story and wrestle the scene I was writing into something I actually liked. I had no inclination, no impetus, and frankly no energy to sit down and struggle through something I wasn't feeling at the moment, just for the sake of hitting some arbitrary word-goal I had self-imposed on myself.
And truth to be told, it wasn't just the writing - it was the very simple act of switching on the computer that seemed like too much of an effort for me.

I was tired, unhappy, unmotivated and altogether in no mood to even browse the internet, let alone engage with people or do something productive.

I promised myself to get back to it the next day on a daily basis, but each and every new day I lacked the motivation to do anything. It just felt RIGHT to not be writing for the moment. To not be posting stuff or reading posts or browse or just generally kill time in front of the screen.

Then Himself told me he would go on a week-long climbing tip with a friend of our the next week, and I found myself in the funny situation of life imitating art big time. In the fic, I have two OCs that are based on exactly those two people leaving for a climbing vacation... and now the real them actually did the same.
A sign, right?
So, I was pretty adamant about me using the time alone to make up for lost writing-time and hammer out a couple thousand words each day.

That was, until I actually found myself alone and all my good plans going down the drain due to immense demotivation and the bad timing that led to me discovering a new YouTube channel I got obsessed with. A channel that has been in existence for 11 years, so you can guess how many videos there are for me to catch up on....

So, another week went by with me NOT firing up the computer.

Then, Himself was back again, and with him a couple of things we had to attend, a few outings we wanted to do, and a handful of evenings spent doing nothing at all, just enjoying the summer, the rest of the month passed as well, hardly noticed by me.

And now, it's August and I am... back, but not back?
I certainly needed the time off the computer and away from my story, and while it completely threw my intended schedule off, the interruption also freed me from said schedule, giving me enough peace of mind to be okay with the fic possibly not being finished during the summer, and possibly even not finished before the next "real" NaNoWriMo.

So, my plan for now is to enjoy (and survive) the current heat wave, and try to get some writing done here and there with no set schedule or fixed word-goals for the moment until I get back into the flow or hit a part of the story that forces me to keep on writing and regularly at that.

I will, however, try to set aside an evening or two each week to work my way through the waiting posts and comments that have accumulated over the past months.
In short, I'll be here and yet not here for the foreseeable future, and as usual I'll keep you updated on any writing that gets done around here :)

I hope you're all having a lovely, wonderful and relaxing summer!


Mar. 1st, 2017 09:45 pm
amruniel: (corsage)
I'm still not even halfway through with studying and instead of panicking, I'm sitting here giggling...

Isn't it funny how after a few times of dear Viggo and Orlando running into each other a relationship break (-up) is confirmed?

Yes, I'm very happy here underneath my tin hat, thank you very much :D
amruniel: (corsage)
I have been out of sight (though hopefully not out of mind) these last days.
It turned out that the exam I'll be taking on Thursday requires a LOT more studying than I anticipated.... (of course it did... it always does *rolls eyes at herself*)

Anyway, I actually wanted to spend this evening giving my brain a break and get some writing done, but alas, I opted to go climbing instead this afternoon, so I'm stuck with doing this instead tonight:

And yes - if I had known that I would have to torment my poor self with geography, I sure as fuck wouldn't have signed up for that exam... Damn!

So, if anyone of you has a handy trick how I'll be able to wrap my head around locating the individual states on the map of the US, please do share! (As it stands, I feel reasonable confident that I might be able to locate Texas, California and possibly Florida... which really doesn't help my confidence about passing the test at all...........)

Anyway, I wanted to say I'm more or less alive still, I'm thinking about you and I'll be back catching up with you on Thursday (hopefully) or Friday (at the very latest)!

*hugs you all*
amruniel: (corsage)
Today, I didn't do ANY studying. At all.
I feel like the biggest idiot on this planet for wasting valuable time by not really doing anything all day long. *sigh*
Time's flying by and I decide to do fuck all... how dumb can one person be?!

And despite doing nothing really important all day long I didn't even manage to write either. What a wasted day.
I'm really angry at myself at the moment :/

(On the plus side, I managed to reply to all comments/posts waiting for me. So that's something at least...)

Anyway - the worst thing: by doing no studying today I made sure to have to put in extra hours tomorrow, which is such a fucking bad timing since it's Himself's birthday :(
So I'm not only a bad student, but also a bad girlfriend. Yay. Way to go, you genius!


(And to top it off, I'm hungry, which really doesn't help my mood at all! *growls*)
amruniel: (corsage)
My dear friends, I wish you all very happy and stressless holidays - whatever you're celebrating, wherever you are and whatever you do, I hope you all have a great time, loving people around you, and all the happiness and inspiration you could possibly have :)

I know that I've been MIA for quite some time, that I've missed quite a lot and that there are a bunch of fics from my most favorite authors (yep, that includes YOU!) waiting... and I'm so looking forward to catching up with all your entries!
Hopefully the next days will finally calm down enough for me to be able to do so...

So, my lovelies out there - I hope you have a great time and I send you all a bunch of virtual VigOrli cookies (there's just no sweeter treat ;) )!
amruniel: (Default)

Dear cold-from-hell,

After a week in your clutches I'm seriously considering a messy divorce involving heavy medication if you're not backing off anytime soon - preferably now!
While I don't mind scheduling more naps a day than I have taken since my toddler days, and while I absolutely love the great (if a little disturbing) dreams of Viggo and Orli my brain has blessed me with lately - I do want my life back. Please. Now!

coughing-her-lungs-out me

amruniel: (Default)

I should go to bed, but first I need to apologize to all of you whom I didn't respond to these last few days... (and foremost to [ profile] silvan_lady for not reading and commenting :( )

My muses have made a surprise-comback, I've been bitten by a huge VigOrli plotbunny and while I haven't written a single word so far, I've spent all of my waking moments these last days doing research. (By the way, my muses demand to ask you all for each and any information you can come up with in terms of Viggo and Orlando - they simply refuse to start real work until I've got all the facts in order... bossy bitches ;) )
I've browsed so many LJ-communities (in vain, let me add), read my way through various yahoo-groups (to no avail) and have read and looked at each and every piece of Viggo's art I could find (and a huge thanks to my lovely, lovely Phi who spent hours interpreting and discussing the most interesting ones with me - you know I blame this plotbunny on you and you alone!) ...

Additionally I've done some research on various interesting parts of this planet, and have come to the conclusion that while New Zealand still is the land I'd love to see one day, there are certain very, very stunningly beautiful places to be found in certain parts of Idaho... I guess, I can finally understand people who might chose to live there ;)

And yeah... I really, really might start writing fiction again. Wow. I'm completely stunned and a bit shaken by the violence of my creativity coming back to life, but I'm willing to go wherever my muses might lead. I'm determined to give this thing a try, yet I have no idea how to pull it off. I mean, apart from actually writing this thing a huge problem is actually getting somebody to take on the huge challenge of being my beta. The only definitive thing I know about this story at the moment is that I'm going to attempt to write it in English - which, as we all know, isn't my native tongue, which makes getting two distinctive character voices right even harder... Put the challange of one of them being British and the other one American-with-anything-else-mixed-in on top of that and you might be able to understand what a mammoth task this might prove for any soul nice enough to take on the challenge... *sighs*

Okay my dears... I once again apologize for being a mute recluse these last days, I hope my research-frenzy will burn down to a more normal level soon and that I'll be back with you soon ;) and now, I'm finally off to bed!

amruniel: (corsage)

Let me start with saying that today, for once, I'm damn proud to be an Austrian.

Today Conchita Wurst, who won the Eurovision Songcontest 2014 about a week ago, had her first concert in Austria. It's been a free "thank-you"-gig at the Ballhausplatz and well... Let's say Austria hasn't been that great about a drag-queen with beard representing our country at the Songcontest for a long time. Obviously, once the rest of Europe actually voted for her the public reaction changed to "we're so open-minded, we're great with any kind of "different" lifestyle", etc. But still, the loud and persistent homophobia running wild mostly online put a major damper on at least my mood oftentimes.

the reasons ;) )

Another thing I ... well, I actually DIDN'T want to talk about is this interview with Viggo Mortensen:
But since I can't stop mumbling and grumbling about it and I'm driving people nuts with it, I figured, I might as well get it out here...

grumble grumble )

And then, there are these two videos of Orlando talking about acting in "Romeo and Juliet" I've watched today:

I absolutely adore the way he's talking about stage work. I mean, that's true love and passion for theatre speaking.
I particularly enjoyed the way he's talking about the beauty of Shakespeare's language in the first video as well as his description of the incident where the actor playing the friar completely lost track of his text. I mean, that's a real great way of dealing with the situation, and such a great thing to witness if you're afraid of exactly that happening to you (as Orlando obviously was).

And the second video? Just so much goodness in there ;) I mean, first, the fans talking to him were really great. Really focussing on the theatre part, asking quite insightful questions and keeping their cool for the most part.

And then him revealing that he's actually reading a poem to get into Romeo's mind-set? There's just no doubt in my mind WHICH poem he's reading there... *whistles innocently* And don't even get me started on the last few minutes of the video... I mean... I so loved how he obviously stopped himself from calling Viggo a genius (he really deserves to be called one, so... just keep on gushing about him, honey!) and his reaction to the comment that Viggo is a good-looking guy???! "He's devastatingly handsome"... I... I... I completely and utterly adore this reaction. And it makes my little fangirlish heart beat a lot faster. That's for sure ;) *happy sigh*

So yeah, I could go on and on about these videos, because they once again show me that Orlando really, truly belongs on a stage. He's obviously very happy there and he absolutely can and should be proud of what he accomplished as Romeo. (Although seeing his dedication to the text and the work he put into bringing this person to life really shows me how much it means to him - I wouldn't have needed to see him actually act to completely understand that he'd do his absolute very best in the theatre because it means so much to him....)

But now I do shut up and get to work... it's quite late and I should do something now. I really want and need to get at least 4 hours of sleep before I have to face my co-workers tomorrow *sigh*

amruniel: (corsage)
Let me start by saying that I am trained to analyse theatre productions. I've been studying theatre and film science for years, I really know what I'm doing...


This is one of the few times that I am left speechless. This is one of these glorious times where the analytic part of my brain simply shut up in face of the brilliance and enjoyment before my very eyes.
I can assure you, it usually sucks big time to have a little (or rather highly persistent most of the time) voice in your head that constantly rambles on about staging, acting and technical details, when you just want to sit back and enjoy a play or movie. I know I've lost a lot of enjoyment of these things during the last years, and I also know that I'm not too good company in any theatre - constant commentary usually isn't that high on people's priorities when going to a play or a movie. And harsh criticism is not everybody's post-movie/play pastime of choice either. Thankfully, there are a few people who either are trained to do what I do, or who don't mind my rambling who still watch things with me (and big kudos to them, I sometimes can't even stand myself...)
The times a theatre production or a movie really makes an impression on me are limited, and the times I fully sink into the story, just enjoy and don't analyse are very, very, very seldom.

And yet, against all odds, it happened today.

I was fully prepared to sit through 2+ hours of my brain drawing comparison to the umpteen other stagings of Romeo & Juliet I've seen (or had to criticise at uni) in my life, of derogatory comments of my inner critic and of the much-hated feeling that I'd like to love what I'm seeing yet still being utterly unable to do just that.
I was looking forward to see Orlando Bloom acting on stage, but I dreaded it at the same time. As I said before, I always felt that he belonged in a theatre, yet I really expected to be disappointed. Not because I thought he would be bad, but because I feared he wouldn't be able to shut up the annoying voice inside my head. Very few actors can do that. I've seen some of the best theatre-actors of the German-speaking world, some of the most acclaimed actors, and hardly any of them really got me. So chances were good that I could respect Orlando's performance, that I could rationally tell he was as good, as I suspected him to be, but at the same time it was highly unlikely that I could really enjoy the whole thing.

Well, I've been proven wrong. Thankfully. Stunningly. Unbelievably.

I'm still not really ready to get out the trained part of my brain and try to make real sense of the why's and how's. I know that I could analyse the performances to death, I know that I could figure out why this staging touched something in me that made the experience so special if I really tried, I know that I could say a lot about the individual performances, about the stage- and production design, about every little detail that I should consider...

...but I simply don't want to.
I don't want to spoil this unexpected experience by putting everything under my usual scrutiny. I want to just relish and savour it for once.

Yet, there are some things I really do want to say. Without going into too much detail, without waking the inner critic out of its stupor. Just a few things that I feel should be said.

Let's start with the obvious - the stage. I'm usually a Shakespeare-purist. Okay, scratch that... I'm a theatre-purist. I hardly ever like modern stagings of old plays. They're usually overdone and awfully forced. I don't want to see some people with pink bunny-tails tucked into their trousers chasing each other around the stage waving floggers, while the heroine recites her lines swinging on an oversized four-poster bed dangling from the ceiling. And yeah - I've sat through that. That's not my over-active imagination speaking.
I'm more than happy to see a modern play set in a modern set. I've actually seen a brilliant contemporary play that ended in a scene of ripped-out intestines and gushing blood that would make any splatter-movie proud, while the surviving characters had their glorious masturbatory moment fully naked. It's been great! Trust me. It's been fucking great because it fit. I was the right ending to a disturbing and deeply unsettling play about modern society and the numbing effect media has on our lives. While about 90% of the audience left in a huff somewhere in the third act or even sooner, my friend and I had the time of our life,
But as I said - I usually don't like a modern setting, and particularly not when it's Shakespeare we're dealing with. But here? It worked. Beautifully. It worked for me because the whole setting has been so perfectly reduced, that it opened up a new canvas for my imagination to paint on. I particularly loved the constant of the wall and -most of all- the wonderfully executed symbolism of the "bell of doom" as I termed it.

And now to the actors. Except for Orlando I don't know any names, and I honestly don't want to go and find out about them now, because it really doesn't matter in the long run. (Remember, I don't want to wake up the annoying voice inside my head... and checking actors and their previous work, etc. just hits too close to home to my profession.) Let's just say I particularly loved Juliet's father... a groovy, charming performance that made the beautiful rhythm inherent to the text so brilliantly obvious. Mercutio also rocked big time... energetic, seductive and perfectly dancing the fine line between humour and parody. Friar Laurence had me at the opening soliloquy and continued on this high level. I also enjoyed the performance of Juliet's nurse, but I've seen the actress somewhere before, so it wasn't so much a surprise.
Juliet herself was great at the humorous parts - I particularly loved her crawling along the "balcony", unfortunately she couldn't hold that level in the dramatic scenes. All in all she played the character too naive for my taste, but I recognize that this is actually quite near to the original text, so I guess that's just me and not a real point of criticism.

Well, and then, there's Orlando.
And there's brilliance. A kind of brilliance I wouldn't have thought I'd see. This man really belongs on a stage. That's where he can shine, that's where his heart is. And he really shone.
I particularly tip my hat for the utterly brilliance of his portrayal of the stunning character-change he put his Romeo through. Where in the first "half" (let's not bother with acts here, okay?) he played the young playboy, relying on his boyband-charme and enthusiasm for everything female brilliantly, with a sometimes highly annoying high voice that tumbled over the words - an overdramatic performance of the exuberance of youth, the second "half" turned into a maelstrom of despair, pain, grief and madness. It was sheer brilliance. A performance one can only hope for in a Romeo. And the stunning and so subtle changes in character-performance I hinted at? It's all in the voice. In the second half there's no more boyish sighing and melodramatic recitation, there's a powerful voice ploughing through the text, seemingly tearing the words from his tortured soul. It's all in the voice - and it's a stunning transformation, a heady ride.

The absolute high-point of Orlando's performance was the scene with Friar Laurence after Romeo killed Tybalt. I really can't say much about it ... I was spellbound. I've had goose-bumps chasing up and down my spine, a thing that very rarely happens to me in a theatre-setting. I loved and revelld in the enormously powerful emotions pouring out of every word, every gesture. I don't think I blinked even once during the whole scene. I simply couldn't miss a single second of this performance.
Even now, hours after the fact, I can't think about this scene without my brain simply shutting down and just feeling. THAT'S what powerful theatre can do, ladies and gentleman. THAT'S what a stunning performance feels like. (And bear in mind, that I've watched the whole thing second-hand in a movie-theatre thousands of miles away from NYC... I might have stopped to actually breathe if I'd been live on Broadway...)

My verdict? So worth it! So fucking worth it. Stunned. Relieved. Touched. Aaaaaah.... simply loved it! (and, oh boy, Orlando on a stage might be exactly what I've been waiting for in order to reconcile me with actual stage-work and make my love for theatre come back - and I won't even start about the very high probability of a distraught, pained and emotional Orlando featuring in my dreams tonight....)

Utterly brilliant. So happy!


Mar. 26th, 2014 04:54 am
amruniel: (corsage)

I'm about the happiest person on earth at the moment. I guess.

I've always mourned the fact that I'm living a long, long, long way from America, which always made my dream of catching a Broadway-play a bit difficult ;)
When I fell in love with the great VigOrli pairing, I mourned the fact that I simply couldn't catch a plane and go to New York to see Orlando act in "Romeo and Juliet". Since I first set eyes on Orlando I've told all and sundry that I'd love to see him in a play, that I'm sure he should be on stage and not (just) on film. When I learned some time later that he actually attended Guildhall and learned to be a stage-actor there, I had my suspicions confirmed. This guy should be on a stage.

Well, as I mentioned - he finally got back on stage, and yet I didn't have a chance to catch the play. And YouTube didn't prove very friendly towards me in that regard... there's hardly anything on "Romeo and Juliet" there either. So I resigned myself to the fact that I simply would have to wait and that maybe somewhen in the future the fates would be a little nicer ... I hoped that he would someday play theatre in London, which is just 3 hours of flight from here. I really could go there and fulfil my dream.

Well, and today I got an email from my local cinema, the usual newsletter I hardly ever read except if something in the title catches my interest... and oh boy, it did! So, I don't know how, I don't know why... fact is, on April 1st my cinema has a special planned, namely they're showing a performance "Romeo and Juliet" from Broadway... and yep, the lead is really Orlando...

So, I got Himself on board, booked tickets (and hell, they're really really really expensive, but hey, money doesn't matter in this case) and I'm going to make my dream come true as best as possible at the moment in just a few days... I'm really going to see Orlando act on stage... I can't believe it! I really can't!

This really is the next best thing to actually being there in the theatre... and I'm really looking forward to it.
(And I still hope that someday he'll be playing in London... because then I'll be there for real! No matter what!)
amruniel: (corsage)
Well, today life sucks.
Big time.
And simultaneously - not so much.

life's ups and downs ahead )

Well... tomorrow's another day, I guess...
amruniel: (corsage)
While I certainly had my stream of consciousness-moment yesterday, I didn't really explain my sudden obsession with RPS in general and VigOrli in specific.

Well, here's the story ;) )

On a personal side-note: I've been shopping today... three pairs of new sunglasses ... I needed ONE pair... but hey, what can a girl do? ;) If they fit - I buy!
amruniel: (corsage)
The title really says it all...

I've got a new job that really is way out of everything I've ever done. I'm quite intimitated by my own courage, horribly afraid that I will fail, and pretty sure I'm in for more than I originally thought *sigh*
But really - it's a challenge, it's possibly something I could be really happy doing (if I get the hang of it...), and -most of all- it's something that earns me good money.
And another plus - this job requires me to actually turn on my computer every day - which is (at least partly) why I'm back here... I've tried to keep an actual journal (you know, that thing with pages made of paper and stuff...) but failed horribly after some weeks (hiding that thing and my writing from my noisy family got too much of a strain quite soon), and now that I'm forced to actually use my computer on a daily basis I turned back to the only journal I've ever kept for longer than a few months.

mad rambling about stuff )

Whoa... I've actually written much more than I originally wanted to... somehow my "I'm back and try to stay here once more"-post got a life of its own. Well... okay... why not :)


amruniel: (Default)

August 2017



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