(no subject)

"You little idiot," Severus muttered to himself, running a hand through his dark hair. "Why would you want to sacrifice yourself for a world that uses you?"

The silence in the room offered no consolation to its occupant.

x-x-x

Hours later, Severus sat on the velvet couch and stared into the flickering fire as Harry had done earlier. Thoughts, memories and images assailed his mind, playing like visions in a Pensieve.

If he had cast the Tempus Spell he would have realized that it was exactly time for dinner, but Severus had no desire to know what hour of the night it was. Each minute would seem a minute closer to the moment when Harry would leave.

Some time between the instance when Harry had stormed out of the room and the point at which a house elf had popped a plate of food in his lap, courtesy of Dumbledore, Severus managed to dispel of the swirling thread of rage that threatened to overpower him.

Now, all that was left of the night was decisions and acceptance.

Severus once again looked over to the bed where Harry had laid for so many nights and could almost literally see the projected image.

Tangled in black silk sheets, eyes closed with large expanses of golden skin visible in contrast, Harry looked very peaceful when he slept.

Harry was no child anymore. But, behind the calm acceptance of fate and the beams of intelligence that sparkled within the green eyes, was still a seventeen year old to whom fate had been especially cruel.

Severus tore his eyes away to gaze once more into the fire.

'All is fair in love and war....'

The words resounded in his head continuously. All is fair in love and war so what right did Severus have to berate Harry for doing what was expected?

'Why would you want to go willingly to your own death? Why when you don't have to? There is no real urgency. The Dark Lord is still bidding his own time to attack you. Why would you want to forfeit the safety that Hogwarts provides to you?'

Severus knew the answer.

"Because you're Harry and you feel that you must. You would rather die than to see more dead or suffering." He groaned the words aloud to the silent fire.

You reek of goodness...Did you know?

Severus glared into the fire again, irritated at first but then more and more pensive.

"I don't know if I can do this Harry," he whispered to the images in his mind of dark spells being cast and the body of an emerald-eyed wizard lying motionless on the ground. "I don't know if I can let you die alone."

I thought you would understand...Because I love you....

"Harry..." Severus breathed the name aloud in a voice that told of his own private hell and the demons he was being forced to face himself right then.

The thought, however, he left unspoken.

(taken from "Green Eyes Sublime" by Angel Spirit)

I haven't finished the story yet and I don't know if I will, because I know the end... I don't know if I can stand reading it today... or any day for that matter.
But to all of you who like Snarry and don't mind self-destructional themes, and don't mind that there are no graphic sex-scenes ... I can only recommend to go and read this fanfiction.
I stumbled upon it searching for a fanfiction to help me overcome the time between then and the time something good on TV was about to begin and I started reading with small expectations - only to find myself lost in this story for hours and hours.