Random Thoughts and News

First of all - to all of you who have an account at IJ too - I registered there a few minutes ago (mainly to be able to comment, since most of the fics I've recently read are posted there), so if you want to friend me, feel free to do so ;) My IJ can be found here.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about writing fanfiction. As most of you probably know, I have written some fics in the last years - or better: some years ago, since I had a huge writers block for the last 2 or 3 years.
I love writing, I love my -mostly unfinished- stories to bits and I really, really want to finish each and every one of them. But never the less, I somehow seem unable to do so. Which drives me quite insane, I can tell you!

So, I've been thinking about writing (yeah, typical! I'm not simply DOING it, instead I spend much time thinking about why I don't do it *rolls eyes*) and maybe, just maybe, I've found some of the reasons why I've had so many troubles regarding my own stories the last years...

When I first started writing about 5 years ago, I managed to write on a daily basis. Most of the time I had finished a new chapter every other day. This first story of mine consists of 30+ chapters at the moment and is still unfinished.
Sometime in the writing-process of this first story, a Lord of the Rings fic, I stumbled into the Harry Potter fandom and found a new home there. I started writing my second fiction (also unfinished *sigh*), then a third, a fourth ... whenever I fell in love with a new pairing, I simply had to sit down and write ... or at least try to write ;)
During these early days of my time in the HP-fandom I joined a writer's community for HG/SS-ships, found a lot of friends there and had a wonderful and very productive time regarding my own stories. Whenever I hit a dead spot in one of my fictions, somebody else was there to cheer me along, to encourage me, to help me back to the path I lost somewhere during the writing process,...
Sadly things in this community changed a lot after HBP was published and I left there finally.
But still I had this wonderful friend of mine, whom I met regularly. We spend a lot of time together at Starbucks simply writing. I've never in my life written as much as in those blessed times. But due to her changing job and me falling in love our meetings stopped somehow.

And since then I have quite a lot of trouble writing. I regularly tried to sit down and get at least some sentences done, but somehow it is not the same anymore. I'd love to write, I try it, but for every 3 sentences I write, I seem to delete at least 2... Quite annoying, I can tell you.
During the last few days I finally understood that I need people I can talk to, to write successfully. I need people who know my stories, who cheer me on (or even kick my ass if necessary), but most of all, who simply talk to me about it. I'm so much more productive and able to write my ideas down, if I have the chance to simply TALK about them.
I miss those times I had at least one person to talk to *sigh*

And another difficulty of mine is currently language.
As probably most of you know, I'm not a native English-speaker. My mother-tongue is German and except one of my short-stories ("Christmas Love") all of my fics are written in German.
Fact is, though, that I spend more time reading (writing, thinking,...) in English (at least fandom-wise). And I'd really, really love to write English fics... Only trouble is, that I'm quite aware of the fact that my English is nowhere as good as I'd need it to be to write a fiction which doesn't annoy the reader to death with its spelling- and grammar mistakes ;)
So I'd need an English beta... At least one. Probably a thousand :) And -yes, we're coming back to the above paragraph- somebody who'd be willing to listen to my rambles, who would like to contribute in the writing-process, ...

*sigh* I'd probably be the perfect person for teamwork :) Ever since I fell in love with

ac1d6urn and sinick 's stories I seem to come back to the thought of collaborative writing again and again. But again there is nobody out there with whom I could at least try it. *sigh*

Somehow I really think I should get to know more people in fandom. *sigh*