amruniel: (Default)
In a stunning turn of events, you all find myself still alive and kicking ;)

I know, it must have seemed as if the earth has opened up and swallowed me up without any warning, and for that I'm really sorry. I want to apologize particularly to those of you who worried about me, sent me PMs, etc.! Mea culpa!

For those of you happy to know I'm still here and not interested in anything more, I'd suggest to stop reading here now and go on to do something you'd rather do :)

For everyone else - here's a (short and inadequate) explanation:

As you might remember, my last post was on June 20th, where I (probably drunk on some celebratory birthday bubbly) stated I was hopeful to manage to keep on writing halfway regularly despite the exam looming...
...well, no.
Turned out, there was WAY more material to study than I had anticipated. As in TONS more. That woman drove me crazy over the course of the semester, but she really, really hit rock bottom in my favours during those last 10 days of June.
So, I more or less spent the remainder of the month non-stop studying, with the occasional break for food or sleep.
I somehow managed to actually got summing up the material done the night before the exam, with less than 24 hours of "real" study time on my hands. Despite that, the exam went rather well after all (having the first look at the questions my the prof went up a notch in my favours again, let me tell you ;) ).

Riding on a high after having finished the semester FINALLY, I actually did fire up the computer shortly before midnight on the 30th and created a cabin at CampNaNo for me. I really was all psyched up about tackling another month of writing and possibly even get the whole fic as close to finished as possible.

Fast forward to the next day and I found myself in the situation to really, really, really have no energy left to do anything, least of all to make myself turn on the computer and tackle Day 1 of CampNaNo. I, for the first time in months and months, couldn't make myself even THINK about the fic. I was too tired, too wrung out.

If I have learned any lesson those past years, then to listen to my body and my mind when they tell me it's too much. So, for once, I did the sensible thing and decided to give myself the weekend off and start tackling the writing a couple days late.

On Monday, I honestly didn't feel much better about writing. I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea to go back to the story and wrestle the scene I was writing into something I actually liked. I had no inclination, no impetus, and frankly no energy to sit down and struggle through something I wasn't feeling at the moment, just for the sake of hitting some arbitrary word-goal I had self-imposed on myself.
And truth to be told, it wasn't just the writing - it was the very simple act of switching on the computer that seemed like too much of an effort for me.

I was tired, unhappy, unmotivated and altogether in no mood to even browse the internet, let alone engage with people or do something productive.

I promised myself to get back to it the next day on a daily basis, but each and every new day I lacked the motivation to do anything. It just felt RIGHT to not be writing for the moment. To not be posting stuff or reading posts or browse or just generally kill time in front of the screen.

Then Himself told me he would go on a week-long climbing tip with a friend of our the next week, and I found myself in the funny situation of life imitating art big time. In the fic, I have two OCs that are based on exactly those two people leaving for a climbing vacation... and now the real them actually did the same.
A sign, right?
So, I was pretty adamant about me using the time alone to make up for lost writing-time and hammer out a couple thousand words each day.

That was, until I actually found myself alone and all my good plans going down the drain due to immense demotivation and the bad timing that led to me discovering a new YouTube channel I got obsessed with. A channel that has been in existence for 11 years, so you can guess how many videos there are for me to catch up on....

So, another week went by with me NOT firing up the computer.

Then, Himself was back again, and with him a couple of things we had to attend, a few outings we wanted to do, and a handful of evenings spent doing nothing at all, just enjoying the summer, the rest of the month passed as well, hardly noticed by me.

And now, it's August and I am... back, but not back?
I certainly needed the time off the computer and away from my story, and while it completely threw my intended schedule off, the interruption also freed me from said schedule, giving me enough peace of mind to be okay with the fic possibly not being finished during the summer, and possibly even not finished before the next "real" NaNoWriMo.

So, my plan for now is to enjoy (and survive) the current heat wave, and try to get some writing done here and there with no set schedule or fixed word-goals for the moment until I get back into the flow or hit a part of the story that forces me to keep on writing and regularly at that.

I will, however, try to set aside an evening or two each week to work my way through the waiting posts and comments that have accumulated over the past months.
In short, I'll be here and yet not here for the foreseeable future, and as usual I'll keep you updated on any writing that gets done around here :)

I hope you're all having a lovely, wonderful and relaxing summer!
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 238.204

Despite writing 1.300+ words again tonight, I slowly but surely have to face the very real possibility of not being able to meet my personal word-goal challenge at the end of the month.
With just a little less than 12.000 words to write, and 13 days to go, I'd usually consider myself at a good place count-wise, but with the knowledge that I have a shit-ton of things to study for the exam on the 29th (I think? maybe the 30th if I'm lucky), I fear I won't be able to get it done after all.
I shouldn't have slacked off that much these past weeks. *sigh*

In other news, I just cottoned on to the fact that there's another round of CampNaNo taking place in July. I'm tempted to give it another go... though I don't want to end up in some random cabin, truth to be told... Which then begs the question, [personal profile] ranmaru_fics are you up for another go at a VigOrli cabin? ;)
(Or, of course, any other VO-writer who's up for the challenge? [personal profile] silvan_lady maybe? ;D )

amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 207.311

Is it just me or does time really fly?
Today marks the last day of Camp NaNo, and it incidentally also saw me reaching my "inofficial" word-goal for this challenge.

Before really starting out on this little adventure, I have had the idea of setting my Camp NaNo goal to 25.000 words, or in other words, half of what I had to write during NaNoWriMo. In face of how much work I saw myself buried under with uni and life in general, sensibility won out in the end and I compromised with myself, settling for what I thought would be a way more realistic, if possibly still difficult to reach, 20.000 words.
But I never abandoned the idea of trying to hit the 25.000 words in 30 days completely, making it my (unvoiced) private goal should I manage to reach the official goal before April 30th.

As you know, I did. And so I wrote on, not necessarily intent on reaching the additional 5.000 no matter at what cost, but still... hoping, I think you could say.

Anyway, long story short - it is now official. I end Camp NaNo with 25.419 words written and some serious good mood ;)

What a way to end the week, and the month! :D
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 206.433

Well, well, well...
As I mentioned more than once already, I knew the boys would go off the beaten path now that I'm winging it again... what I didn't expect, though was how often they would manage to surprise me in just two or three days....

Hm. Right.
I'll just roll with it for now, I guess.

Looking at it optimistically, the direction they just went is something I haven't ever written before. And we all know I thrive on a challenge... So yeah, this could be fun!

And with it being May 1st on Monday, and therefore a bank-holiday, I'll be able to get a bit of writing in tomorrow night... I'm really looking forward to finding out how I'll be able to handle that particular scene! :D

I hope you're all having a great weekend!
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 205.345


And in celebration I wrote another 1000 words.

Right, I would have written them anyway, but who cares? ;)

Anyway, today the tables turned on me... you might recall me being hungry yesterday led to the boys having a BBQ. Well, today I needed an idea for dessert and took to my trusty picture search....... well, now I really, really, REALLY want the cake I chose for the guys to have.

Damn :D
*ambles off in search of a sweet treat*
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 204.251

Let me tell you one thing: I should definitely stop writing while hungry!
Seems like our boys are now having a BBQ...


(And while I certainly suspected the boys doing whatever they wanted to, I didn't see my personal longing for food influence yet another part of this story! It isn't as if the boys haven't had tons of food I wanted to have in that moment, over the course of the past 200.000 words... *sigh* It going to be a small wonder if they don't come out of that story overweight at that rate...
Ah well, I can always have them have sex to burn a few excess calories, right? Right!)
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 203.133

Just a rather short writing session today, but with having finished Camp NaNo I'm rather okay with that. I have come up with a rough idea of what to include in the chapter I'm currently writing this afternoon and therefore have a general idea of what I'm going to be writing tomorrow, so that's great.

Meanwhile, one of my lovely characters suddenly developed a talent I didn't see coming, but hey, it works beautifully and got me hitting my word-goal today in no time at all... I'm not complaining, for once ;)

(But I did predict my boys going off the rails again now that I'm more or less winging it on a day-to-day basis, didn't I?!?? ;) )
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 202.281

Ladies! Today is a day of celebration!
I've officially reached my word-goal for Camp NaNo!

You want proof? Here it is! ;)

In other words, I've written a good 1.000 words today, though I suspect that a lot of them will ultimately fall prey to the Red Pen of Beta ;)
No, in all seriousness, I don't really know where what I wrote today came from. It certainly wasn't something I had on the radar, and it ultimately doesn't really add to the story, but rather gives a bit of background knowledge about the location or rather the inhabitants of the city/country my story is set in.
It isn't really a necessary part, but for now I'll keep the passage and see if it survives my revision and/or beta later on.

And now I'll celebrate my triumph with a cup of tea and a few ladyfingers ;)
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 201.193

As those of you actually taking a good look at these updates might have noticed, I have upped my personal word-goal challenge to 250.000 words. The current plan is to hit that number by the end of June, that is if my story doesn't come to an end before that (which I currently doubt, but who knows... I might suddenly develop the talent to keep myself short and tell the tale I want to tell without any additional fanfare....)

In other news, my Easter break has officially come to an end *sigh*, so I'm back to the "may or may not find the time to write today"-situation for at least two or three days of the week.
And despite my best intentions, I naturally didn't get my research and planning for the build-up to the main action done during the last two weeks, so I'm back to more or less winging it until inspiration strikes, and/or I finally sit my butt down and do some of said research.

Ah well, that at least should keep you entertained while I'm complaining about my characters running off in every imaginable direction again ;)
Sounds like fun, right??!
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 200.089

With tonight's writing session I've successfully reached my personal "200.000 words until the end of April"-goal!

For Camp NaNo, I still need to write 1.815 words over the course of the next week, but that should be easily doable, despite uni starting up again on Monday.

I can't tell you how happy I am :)
I know, I have said it quite a few times before, but I'll say it again: if you had told me on November 1st, 2016 that I'd have 200.000 words written by the end of April, I'd have told you to kindly let yourself check for un-diagnosed mental illnesses like delusions... And yet, here I am, having typed out more words than I could have ever imagined writing after my muses went on extended vacation a good 10 years ago, and not nearly finished yet.

It has been a thrilling, joyful, sometimes frustrating ride. I've had my ups and downs, and I sure as hell had my share of troubles with keeping my characters halfway in check, hoarding them back in from whatever tangent they decided to go off on, catering to their demands for "more" and "not yet" and "let me have that moment please", but in the end, it's been an incredibly joyful experience and I can't wait to see where the story, the characters and my random ideas of what I could add to make things a bit more entertaining for my future readers will take me over the course of the next... well, hopefully not 200.000 words, but I'm sure there's still quite a bit to come :)

And, as always, my endless gratitude goes to the incredible [personal profile] silvan_lady! Without her encouragement (and inspiration!) I would have never really entertained the idea of trying my hand at creative writing again and particularly not writing a V/O AU.
And most of all - kudos to her for volunteering to beta this monster if I ever manage to finish it! What a brave woman! *hugs*

And to you, who are actually reading my daily rambling updates and are still not bored to death or completely pissed off with me for clogging up your friends/reading page: thank you all for bearing with me :) I just hope you'll be able to one day actually read what I'm constantly babbling about!

And with that I'm wishing you all a lovely Sunday with a lot of sunshine and relaxation!
I'll see you all on Monday, I guess :)

amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 199.214

Well... that's what I call a productive writing session.
I can't believe I managed to write 1.000+ words despite me having not a single clue what I wanted to write, or how I wanted to end that scene/chapter.
And I'm really happy with what I came up with, too!

Consider me surprised!

Also, the way I ended the scene now actually turned out to be a good place to end the chapter as well... Well. Actually, now that I'm typing it, another idea has sprung to mind, but I think I could put it in a kind of backflash-thingy at the beginning of the next chapter.
Oh yes, yeah, that seems to be a great way to start the next chapter, actually. Ha!

Great, now I do know what I'm going to write tomorrow as well! Woo-hoo!!!
(I knew typing these updates would one day turn out to be good for something else than just clogging up your reading/friends pages!)
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 197.854

For once, everything went as planned today, and none of my darling boys decided to go off on a tangent or come up with some surprising twist or turn, leaving me with a successfully finished scene.
What I didn't count on, however, was the (in retrospect very obvious) fact that I don't have even the slightest clue how to actually end that scene, or if that scene actually ends the chapter, and if not, where do I take the chapter from there?
Damn it! There goes the success of tonight :/

I do have a couple of "stepping-stones" in mind that I want and need to fit somewhere into the narrative between here and the main action, but truthfully, I completely forgot to think about where to fit them. Some of them might work as additional scenes in this chapter, all of them might work in some as of yet unplanned bridging-chapter(s), but where exactly and how and in which order currently is one big mystery.

Ah, well, at least I'm two days or so ahead in term so my Camp NaNo goals, so at least I can keep calm in face of the end of my Easter break approaching way too quickly, and the resulting consequence of once again not being able to write on Sunday, and possibly having to skip or at least settle for less words written than I usually do on various other days.

To be honest, my motivation to get back into a "uni-studying-getting shit done"-mindset is so unappealing right now. I've finally reached the point in my story where I actually do feel like there's good progress and that it moves forward at a good pace and with direction, leading me to the part I had stuck in my mind for the last... probably 2 years. In other words, now that I feel like the real fun is drawing near, writing once again will have to take a slight backseat, my allotted writing time once again being subjected to the rather unpredictable and unreliable moods and fancies of my professors and my schedule in general. *bah*
I'm NOT amused, let me tell you!

But I've still two full days of writing ahead of me before I have to switch back into uni mode, so I'll do my best to enjoy the hell out of them (and get some serious planning done!) :)
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 196.967

Having had a surprise-visit late this evening interrupted my writing big time, however, I managed to type out a sentence here and there inbetween, and ultimately got a bit over 700 words written, despite enjoying lovely company who thankfully didn't mind me hammering out a couple of words or a paragraph during lulls in the conversation. So I'm rather pleased with the progress I've managed to make, I have to say.

The good news of this whole situations is that I didn't finish up the scene today, leaving me with a rather good idea of what I want to write tomorrow, which in turn means that I'll have another day to come up with a plan on how to go on from here, what needs to be included in the "bridging" chapter(s) I'll need to write before getting down to the heat of the action, what needs to go in the chapter I'm working on now before I can tackle those bridging parts, etc.

And with that, I'll drag my poor headache-riddled self to bed.
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 196.232

Got a nice amount written today, without too much difficulty and have moved into the next (and probably last) part of the scene, incorporating that bit of fun information that popped into my head a few days ago. I'm looking forward to finding out how Eric reacts to this particular revelation tomorrow :D

(Sometimes it's so nice to *know* the bare, basic idea of what you want to write, while still leaving enough room for your characters to surprise you with their reactions to any given situation! That's all the best of the two worlds of planning/winging it all in one, if you ask me!)

To anyone reading this post over at LJ - in case you haven't noticed so far, I have closed down commenting on the page, and have provided you with a link to the post here at DW down below if you want to leave me a comment :) I'm obviously still using LJ, and will keep on cross-posting for the foreseeable future, but after what #LJ18 tells me is nearly 13 years, the time to move on is drawing near/has (sadly) come. I, as most others, would have wished it to be different, but yeah... Change is good, right?!
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 195.325

Whew. Finally.
Against all odds I finally finished up the part I was working on these past days, which means tomorrow I might actually make headway into the scene, possibly even getting it finished up (that is IF I remember what I wanted to include there ... I should have made a few notes after all *sigh*).

And once I get the scene done, dear Vig will finally re-appear in the story. I miss having the man around ... even if it's just half a scene or so without him.
(But as we all know - no Vig means no innuendo, no flirting, no touches, no nothing *sigh*)

On another note - can anyone of you dears give me a crash-course on English punctuation? Particularly on punctuation in connection with direct speech? It has come to my attention that I'm creatively doing *something*, but I'm guessing how I'm doing it is not how it should be done :D (And funnily enough, I'm NOT using German punctuation either... it's a weird "might be right but most likely isn't" mix-up invented by yours truly.)
Anyway - since I'll have to go back and edit 195.000 words anyway in terms of punctuation, I figured I might ask *now* and get it right at least in the latter part of my story :D
Anybody willing to explain?
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 189.058

After a day of eating everything I could get my hands on, writing was a bit slow today - most of my energy seems to be needed for digesting all that yummy chocolate, leaving very little to make my brain work. (But it was so worth it! *nom*)
But I got some 900 words done, never the less, and managed to set into motion another little thread that will ultimately come into play at some later point of the plot.

I'm hoping to get a bit more done tomorrow, not necessarily in terms of words written, but in terms of getting a little further along in the scene, possibly finally having the chance to incorporate another one of my random stretching-ideas. Let's see how well that will work :D

I hope you've all had a lovely Easter (if you celebrate) or just a lovely weekend in general!
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 193.603

Once again playing around with my Dreamwidth Journal took up way more time than I wanted it to, but hey *shrugs* I have to make myself comfortable (t)here, don't I? ;)

With less then 800 words written, this day counts as "barely written anything at all" in my book, but despite that I still am nicely ahead on the Camp NaNo stats, so I won't fret too much.
I do know where I want and need to go with that scene, after all. However, actually writing it turns out a lot more complicated than I thought it would. I don't know why, really, but I suspect it's because I'd rather use a flashback here instead of having someone narrate that bit, but I've dealt with the same problem on various parts in the story and probably will have to in future as well. I just have to struggle through, at least until things click into place in my brain and the words start to feel like actual speech and not just something I'm wrestling with for the sake of getting it done.
Ah well.

Anyway, my dears, I'm wishing you all a happy Easter and hope you enjoy a lovely day with a lot of sunshine and even more chocolate and other treats!
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 192.822

I've successfully crossed the half-way mark for Camp NaNo tonight, despite not writing as much as I originally wanted.
Somehow playing around with Dreamwidth, creating new icons and just generally getting a feel for how things work over (t)here took up a lot of the time I had set aside for writing.
Ah well, never mind :)

I'm very excited about incorporating a (fun?) turn that sprung to mind today while I was doing my stretching routine into the scene/conversation I'm working on at the moment. I hope to reach the point where it might fit in tomorrow... and am very curious to see where this piece of information will lead me. Or if it doesn't work in the story at all and only sounded like a nice twist in my head.

(Or maybe I'll come up with something completely different tomorrow?! You never know where my brain decides to wander while I'm doing my stretches ;D )

Well, we're going to find out, won't we?

PS: Does anyone of you lovelies know if I can change the mood-icons at Dreamwidth and if so, how? *frowns* I don't like those squares, I think...
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 191.997

I'm coming comfortably close to reaching the half-way point of my Camp NaNo word-count. Yay!

Today, I've had a very easy job - a big part of what I wrote today had been written months ago, just waiting to be tidied up and made fit into the current narrative, so that was a rather nice way of spending the evening :)

I have most parts of the scene I'm currently working on plotted out (I think), so it's more or less a case of just sitting my butt down and type away. Or it should be. I'm guessing my lovely characters -as always- will take some unexpected turn somewhere or will suddenly throw out something I really didn't count on, keeping me busy herding them back to where I want them to be, but that's why I love them, right? Right!

But I'll postpone worrying about that until they actually take that turn or come up with some random comment that throws everything into chaos again... and if it doesn't happen in this scene, I'm sure it won't be long off either way ;)

On another note - I've had the most crazy (and enticing) plot-bunny popping into my head yesterday. There's a type of fic I've always wanted to write, and now I have some scene I'd LOVE to write for that kind of story running around in circles in my brain... If only I were capable of writing something *short* I'd probably give it a shot, but I am so not (and this kind of story deserves, nay, needs a longer, multi-chaptered approach, I think...). Ah well... it's written down and has been added to the ever-growing pile of "things I want to write if I EVER finish that monster of a fic"... maybe someday, yes?
amruniel: (writing)

Total Words Written: 190.870

Woo-hoo! Against all odds (and very much against what it felt like) I've finally made a good headway into the Camp NaNo word-count, propelling me far enough ahead to give me the chance to relax a bit and be okay with it should I not reach my self-imposed daily goal at some point in the future.

For whatever reason, writing seemed to be extremely slow today, but once I counted what I have gotten done I got a nice surprise ;)

And since I always enjoy writing interaction between Eric and Orlando, tomorrow's session should come easier! That's something to look forward to, I'd say ;)


amruniel: (Default)

August 2017



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